Shanah Tovah - Shoneh Tov - Erev Rosh Hashanah 2018

Shanah Tovah Tikateyvu – Shanah Tovah U’Metukah – Shoneh Tov

Several weeks ago I was working with the students in my Introduction to Judaism class.  As we were doing our unit on Rosh Hashanah we spoke about the meaning of the day, the changes in its observance from ancient times until today, the foods we eat, the significance of the shofar, and then we practiced the greeting – or I should say – various greetings that people use this time of year.

I explained to them that when I was younger, not THAT long ago, the normative greeting was shanah tovah tikateyvu v’tehataymu – May you be written and sealed for a good year.  We practiced the long version and then a few variants – shanah tovah tikateyvu or even the short shanah tovah.  I continued the lesson by explaining that about ten years ago the traditional greeting began being used less as more people began saying shanah tovah u’metukah – May you have a sweet and good year – a greeting both easier to say and theologically less challenging.  For good measure I mentioned that some people simply stick with the most common greeting – hag sameach.  By the end I felt pretty good about my students’ knowledge and preparedness to properly greet people at synagogue. 

And then I read a brief d’var by Rabbi Carl Perkins who pointed out that the words shanah tovah have an additional – or at least a possible additional meaning.  He writes:  “there are other echoes in the Hebrew word “shanah.” In Hebrew, words are usually made up of two or three root letters. In the case of shanah, the root consists of the three letters, shin, nun, and heh (or yod). Using different vowels, those root letters form other words which have other meanings. For example, the word, “shoneh” means “to be different,” as in the quotation from the Book of Esther, “Da-tei-hem shonot” — “The practices [of the Jews] are different [shonot] from other people” (Esther 3:8). And the verb, “l’shanot,” means to “change,” as in the passage from the prophet Malachi, “Ani Adonai; lo shaniti,” “I am God, I do not change.” (Malachi 3:6). And of course, we’re all familiar with the verb, “l’hishtanot,” which also means to be different, as in the famous question, “Mah nishtanah ha-layla ha-zeh mikol ha-lailot?” “How is this night different from all other nights?” So it occurred to me: When we say, “Shanah Tovah,” we could simply mean, “Have a good year” — but we could also be saying, “Have a good change!”

As I read Rabbi Perkins words, they truly struck a chord within me.  Fall is, after all, a season of change. We are beginning new school years, the temperature is dropping, leaves are changing colors.  Even more, this is the time of year when our beloved Jewish tradition invites us to make internal, spiritual changes.  We are asked to do a cheshbon nefesh – an accounting of the soul.  A true cheshbon nefesh is like a spiritual job review.  Very few people ENJOY job reviews.  However, when we approach a job review not as a moment where we are simply going to be criticized, but as the moment when we can really figure out what we are doing well and what we need to improve, they can become invaluable tools.  The same is true for our souls during the yamim nora’im – the days of awe which start tonight and end with the blast of the shofar on Yom Kippur.  To do this we must actually give ourselves an honest yet merciful cheshbon nefesh.  We must ask ourselves, “What am I doing right to nourish my soul, to make me a better person, to help make the world better, to be a better brother, sister, daughter, son, wife, husband, friend, aunt, uncle?”   And of course we must ask the opposite as well – “What behaviors of mine need to change in order to make me and the world around me better?” 

As we think about this season of change, I know that some people in the room this evening may be thinking about really big changes.  August, is statistically the month with the most divorce filings.  September is one of the most popular months for weddings as well as for hiring new employees and thus starting new jobs.  These are really big changes.  Most of us however are probably not contemplating changes of such magnitude. 

However we don’t necessarily need to be thinking only of big changes.  Even the smallest change to our own behaviors can have a profound effect.  Perhaps we are easily angered, slow to forgive, have trouble with speaking the truth or speaking in a way that is kind and respectful.  Maybe we swear too much, eat too much, but exercise too little.  Each of these qualities represents a middah – a quality of our characters.  And though some people will tell you that change is impossible, the self-help section of any bookstore says we can change, and so too does Jewish tradition.  Indeed, these days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are designated days where we set aside time each year to think about how we interact with others and the world around us, how we would like to interact with others, and how we can achieve our goals.    

The path to change is not easy.  But it isn’t impossible.  In my office I have a small book called Cheshbon HaNefesh by Rabbi Menachem Mendel Levin of Satanov which lists thirteen middot, or qualities we each should possess.  It also gives explicit instructions on how to improve your middot, the most important being focus on ONE thing at a time.  It is impossible to fix everything at once, so do it in small steps.  Eight years ago my children and husband would have told anyone who asked that I had a something of a temper and was easily angered.  Determined to change my behavior I read and re-read – and read again – a book called Calming the Family Storm and put three of its suggestions into action, transforming my entire family dynamic.  Every once in a while since then I go back and read individual chapters of the book, a quick review so I don’t lose the skills. Seven years ago I determined that I would exercise every single day – and I haven’t missed a day since then – not even Yom Kippur or when I had the flu last year.  Admittedly on those days it was 15 minutes on the elliptical rather than something more intense, but it was SOMETHING.  Five years ago I decided to work on the middah of “equanimity,” or remaining calm in the face of every situation.  I have made lots of progress, but it is still a work in progress.  Which brings me to the fact that sometimes things aren’t quite as simple as simply making a decision or reading a book.  Each year I try to improve a particular character trait of my own, and I am not always successful.  Sometimes I, sometimes we need help, and I am ALL in favor of that.  It can be very helpful to go to a therapist, counselor, or coach of some sort to help us achieve our goals.  Having someone who can hold you “accountable,” in particular can make a real difference. 

I began this evening by discussing all of the greetings used at this time of year.  As I conclude let me say to each of you shanah tovah tikatayvu v’tehataymu – may you be written and sealed for a good, healthy, prosperous, year.  Shanah tovah u’metukah – may you have a good and sweet year, filled with joy for yourself, your family, and your community.  Hag sameach – may this holiday season be a happy one for you.  May each of us examine our middot, our qualities, and be honest with ourselves.  May we each become a little better in the coming year.  May we embrace the changes for the better in ourselves and in those around us.  And may everyone gathered here this evening come together again next year and be able to say indeed 5779 was a shanah tovah filled with shinui l’tovah – a good year filled with good changes!